Have You Ever Thought of Me Like That?
by shancdixon
Summary: Dan and Phil have been friends since Freshman year, but when they both don't have dates to Prom things get interesting.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Freshman Year

Dan's POV

I hate being here and not knowing anyone. I feel more alone than I normally do. At least at my old school people knew who I was, they may not have liked me, but at least they knew me. It is only the first day and I'm already worrying about my popularity status.

My brother, on the other hand, always has friends as soon as he walks in a room. I swear that kid knows everyone in the universe. Just last week, we walked into a shop and a kid walked right up to him and started talking to him like he'd known him his whole life. I had never seen this kid before, ever. Some people are like that, others just want to talk to them. I don't understand this, no one ever wants to talk to me, even when no one knows me.

I think my parents hate me or something, because first they take me to school on the first day of second grade dressed in pink. All the kids laughed at me, I laughed at me. Sixth grade, for some reason my mother and I wore the same size jeans. I get up, and put my jeans on like nothing is wrong. I get to school and realize they had period blood stained all over them. My teacher actually sent me to the nurse's office to make sure I wasn't bleeding out of my anise. From that point on everyone in the whole school called me Menstrual Man. I wouldn't be surprised if someone here know about it.

Lunch, always my favorite part of the day, not. When you don't have anyone to sit with you completely dread lunch. I mean, yes, I am completely, deeply in love with food. When all else fails, just remember there is someone out there that will always love you, food. On this day food doesn't even love me, though. My mum packed my lunch for me and for some reason she can't bring herself to know that I hate turkey. I would have just bought my lunch, but on the first day, they don't serve lunch at school, dumb.

Bag in hand, searching the cafeteria for an empty table and failing, when finally I stop a table with only one kid sitting at it. I walk over extremely nerves to even consider talking to someone who isn't related to me. What if he knows about Menstrual Man? What if everyone at the table is just getting their lunch? Help me God.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here? There are no empty tables left." I say not even looking at the kid.

"Yeah, sure, no one's sitting here." He tells me with the most excited attitude.

I'm not so sure about this kid. Maybe he's part of some satanic cult and that's why no one wants to sit with him? What if he used to sexually harassed girls in between classes? What if last year all he talked about was tadpoles and now he's evolved into frogs? Maybe he's dating his adopted sister? He could easily be a murderer and I wouldn't even know it. Too many questions not enough time to think.

"I'm Phil by the way. If you wanted to know."

I finally look at him amazed that he actually talked to me. I hadn't actually looked at him until right now and he is extremely attractive. Don't get me wrong I'm straight, it's just he has extremely blue eyes like the sea. They weren't just blue, though, there was green and even a little hint of yellow. Weird we have the same hair styles, slightly emo, slightly anima swooped to one side. The only difference is his hair is black and mine is brown.

Slightly delayed I say shaking "I'm Dan." He smiles and nodes my way as a way of saying nice to meet you.

"So Dan do you know anyone here?"

"Um…no, not really."

"Neither do I. I moved from Liverpool."

"You're telling me that no one else moved from Liverpool to Manchester just to go to a shity high school. I can't believe it." I say with so much sarcasm in my voice it almost sounds genuine.

"Haha, I know, it wasn't my choice my dad got transferred jobs."

"I kind of figured it wasn't your fault that you moved. I didn't mean to sound like a jerk."

"It's fine, don't worry about it." He pauses for a moment and then finally gets the courage to ask, "Why don't you know anyone if you've always lived here?"

"Well I went to a private school, but we can't afford high school, so here I am." I explain shrugging my shoulders.

"I completely understand my parents couldn't afford a private school at all, so don't be ashamed."

"Thanks, that really means a lot." I say smiling.

The bell rings and I stand up to leave, but Phil holds me back.

"What class do you have next?" He says to me with a hand on my elbow.

"Algebra 1 with Mr. Amply."

"Same, we can walk their together."

Maybe he's not a murder, but it's too soon to tell. He might just be leading me in a dark alley to kill me. For once though I actually feel like I might have a friend. Hopefully he doesn't learn about the Menstrual Man story, but something tells me he wouldn't care anyway.

AN: I hope you like where this is going. I'll try to post weekly. Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sophomore Year

Phil's POV

Homecoming. I have never been to a school dance in my life and I don't plan on it anytime soon. Everywhere in school you see posters saying "Buy Your Tickets Before it's too Late!" and it makes me want to vomit. Every school always makes this dance seem like it's the best thing to happen since sliced bread! Last year, during my freshman year I knew almost no one, so I didn't even think about going. Now I know a few people, but even now I really only know Dan, my best friend. It's nice only having one friend, it makes the experiences you have together so much more special because no one else was there to get into the way. One experience we will not be having together though is Homecoming. I know for a fact he doesn't want to go as much as me.

"Did you hear Homecoming's coming up?" I say to Dan at lunch that day.

"Who hasn't heard?" He says humorously. "It's all the whole school has been talking about."

"You don't want to go right?"

"I don't even have a date." Ha says to me like I should be the one to take him to the dance. I'm not going to take him if that's what he's looking for. I do kind of wish though that I did have a date so that I could go, but if my only option is Dan, then I'm perfectly fine with not going at all.

"Thank God! I knew you'd make me go if you went."

"I wouldn't have made you go. Where'd you get that idea?" He says with concern in his eyes.

"I don't know. We always do stuff together, so I just figured you want me to go."

"Of course I'd want you to go but I wouldn't make you go." He whispers.

Why has my opinion on everything I know changed? I was just going to school here because I had to and now for some reason it's like if I don't see Dan every day I might die. I know I've only known him for a year, but I feel like I've known him my whole life. I'll never tell Dan any of this, but if he were to ever ask me to a dance/on a date I'd probably say yes. Have I been changed for better or worse? This is something I will most likely never be able to answer.

"Are we so lame that we have to stay home on a Friday night and play _Mario Kart_ rather than going to Homecoming?" I say to Dan in an extremely spoiled like manner.

"Yes, Philly, yes we are." He explains handing me a _Wii_ remote.

"Lol. I really need to stop saying lol." I say while laughing.

"I think it's cute and ironic." I blush at his comment while turning away so he doesn't see me.

I watch Dan put the disk into the _Wii_ and I can't stop. He hums a little toon while he does his job. Dan always sings in the worst tones, but I think that if he really tried he have an amazing voice. I myself have an awful voice, though. Dan would never say that, he say the same thing about my voice as I do about his. That says a lot about a person, I think.

His brown hair falls into his eyes as he walks back over to me smiling. That face, no Phil, no. I need to stop thinking about him, I'm straight! He's a boy, I'm a boy, never going to happen. Phil get this into your head, you're not gay. But that smile…

"You okay?" Dan asks me looking concerned.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. We gonna play?"

"Let's go!" He yells while jumping down on the sofa. " _Shy Guy_ #always."

"You know I'm always _Yoshi."_

" _Cheap Cheap Beach_?"

" _Cheap Cheap Beach_."

"Oh my God Phil do you even know how to drift?"

"Shut up, you know I suck!" I exclaim angrily.

"You're such a Spork learn how to actually play the game."

"What kind of insult is spork?" I say not being able to help from laughing.

"Hahahaaa, I win. Who's the king?"

"You're the king." I say sluggishly

"That's right baby!"

"Dan?" I say trying to be serious.

"Yes."

"This is way better than a stupid dance."

"Definitely, I couldn't ask for a better Homecoming."


	3. Chapter 3

Junior Year

Phil's POV

Chapter 3

"Dan are do you seriously think that we can go to a party" I say while laughing. Can you imagine it Dan and I at a party. We know no one, even though we've been going to the same school for almost three years now no one seems to know us at all. I don't understand how we can do group projects and see them every day, but these people still do not know us. Our school is not that big.

"Oh, come on, it won't be that bad. Will it?" He tries to say in a comforting voice.

"Dan I don't think you've fully developed the concept that we are extremely lame and socially awkward." I try not to laugh while saying this considering that he definitely does know this life we have been gifted with. Dan is the one we talked to me first though, so he's got more social skills. One of these days Dan's going to leave me to be an emotional speaker or something.

"Oh, please, Phil, I know. You don't need to tell me twice." He says playfully punching my arm. His humor is just like a twelve year old girl and I love it.

Sometimes it's hard for me to look at Dan and not stop looking at him. I don't know what's been happening to me in the last few years, but I really need to figure out my sexuality at some point or I'm going to start going insane. Over the last few months it has been getting worse and worse. I'll see Dan and just imagine cinereous of us on different occasions.

"Phil? You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. Are we going to get ready?"

"So you want to go?" He asks with the biggest grin on his face.

"I've got nothing better to do on a Friday night, why not?"

"You're the best." I turn my head to keep him from seeing me blush. I need to see a therapist.

"You gonna get all fancy and dress up for the par-ta?" He says looking through my closet. "Do you own anything presentable, Phil?"

"Just because I don't own all black doesn't mean I don't have presentable clothing." I say while pushing him aside and picking my clothes out for myself. "See Dan this looks presentable and amazing." I tell him holding up a multicolored plaid shirt and black skinny jeans, classic. Dan rolls his eyes at me in a way that says you have awful style. "Hey, at least I don't have a full emo look going on, like some people."

"Shut up, you twat!"

"I'm not the one forcing someone else to go a party." He looks completely offended at this comment like I had just insulted his first born son. I'll say something completely inappropriate sometimes and Dan will not even flinch, but if I even talk about certain things I better be on my death bed. Like this one time I said that I wasn't the biggest fan of cheese and he didn't talk to me for a week!

"I thought you wanted to go to the party?" He says with his puppy dog eyes

"Dan, stop with the eyes, you know it's completely unfair when you pull those out. I want to go don't get me wrong, it's just that I don't know anyone and I don't think it I'll be the high school party experience like you want it to be."

"Phil, I only want to go so that I could spend time with you. I don't care who the other people are, I'll have fun as long as you're there with me." With that comment I have to stop every bone in my body from basically jumping on him. I have said this once and will continue saying this, I need to see a therapist.

"Thanks, Dan I really appreciate it. Coming from you that means a lot."

"What do you mean, means a lot?"

"Well, you know, you're my best friend." I say looking down out of embarrassment. He gives me too many feels!

"It's getting too real. We need to leave!" He says in a joking fashion. "Get dressed before I have another existential crisis." Dan talks about having an existential crisis so much that it doesn't even faze me when he says these comments. I sometimes feel like he would rather not exist, because of how much he thinks about human existence. Luckily he hasn't dropped out of high school even though I think that at some times he can't concentrate on his school work because of how much he lies on the floor thinking about what the future holds for him and the universe. I don't think he would leave me like that though; he knows I'd be lost without him.

"How's this for getting ready?" I say walking out of the bathroom fully dressed in my too cheery outfit for Dan.

He smiles at me and says "Let's leave."

Surprisingly Dan actually has a car, most people that I know don't own any sort of motor vehicle. It's not the worse car either. I actually am kind of jealous of it, but the good thing is that he is my best friend so I get to ride in it more than anyone else, except for him obviously. It's good that one of us has a car because if we didn't then we'd have to either ask our parents or take the tube everywhere which kind of sucks. It also is kind of convenient because then you don't have to really do anything, just sit/stand there.

"Dan are we late?"

"Phil you can't go early to a party; do you know anything?" he says slightly joking, slightly serious.

"Apparently I do not."

I don't think I have ever seen Dan so happy. I don't know why he's so happy, but I really like this Dan. He's usually sad and depressed about whatever is happening in his life at that point in time. Maybe he's figured something about that's he's been searching for? Maybe he's got a girlfriend and he can't wait for me to meet her? Maybe I'm dying on the inside and it's getting worse with every glance at Dan. I need to see a therapist.


	4. Chapter 4

Junior Year

Chapter 4

Dan's POV

I've never been to a party before and I'm extremely scared and excited all at the same time. I know that Phil is terrified, but if I'm there what's to be scared about. Every time he looks at me it's like I'm forcing him into something. I just want him to communicate with me. The way he looks at me is almost as if he's trying to figure something out, but the thing is I don't know what he's trying to figure out.

Ever since I met Phil I planned on us being friends forever, but now I'm not so sure we will. He's changed. I've changed in ways he'll never understand. I miss the simplicity of our younger years. I know we've only know each other for two and a half years, but it's the best time I've ever had. That's the only reason I want to go to this party because Phil and I are drifting apart and I thought that maybe this would bring us together. My biggest fear is that Phil will leave me and I'll be alone forever.

"Are you ready for our lives to change forever, Philly."

"No, I don't think I am Dan." He says looking into my eyes. "Can't we just be content with our lives?"

"Come on Phil we're already here." I say putting my hands on his shoulders. "You'll have a blast, just trust me."

He rolls his eyes and walks forward, even though I know he wants to go back. I'm starting to the feeling that Phil will do anything for me and I don't know if I like that or not. I'm afraid he'll do something he'll regrets just because I wanted him to do it.

"Aren't you having a great time!" I scream over the sound of the music.

"Yeah! Can you get me another beer?" He yells back.

"You've already had three!"

"It's a party isn't it?"

Phil is totally wasted, but I think that it is the only way he could cope with being at a party. I don't think he's ever drank in his life and then he starts all at once, not the best idea. Phil is like that though, he'll go to something you want to go to and then find a way to distract himself from what is actually going on.

I decide to get him a beer, because better him be distracted than be completely miserable. I myself have only had one beer though and am completely sober because I'd actually like to remember this night.

After Phil's fifth beer he is killing it on the dance floor. I couldn't even tell you what the moves are he is doing, but he is slaying it. The whole room is clapping their hands and cheering to the music as he's dancing to. I am thinking about joining him, but I think that if I do everyone will become completely upset that I took the King's stoplight away. Phil was the life of the party and he probably wouldn't even remember it.

Seven beers later and Phil is passed out on the floor. His shirt is nowhere to be seen and his hand has a beer can stuck to it. I walk up to his passed out body and rip off the beer can, leaving his hand extremely red and slightly bloody. Everyone one else is either making out or passed out as well. I pick up his body and become instantly amazed at how light he is.

He puts his arms around my neck probably without realizing it. I just smile lightly and walk him out into the cool air. He clenches to me tight being shaken by the cold breeze. His arms are light thin sticks, but at the same time muscular. Phil doesn't realize it, but he is very attractive; especially when he sleeps. He thinks that none of the ladies find him attractive and I can't say for sure if that's true or not, but I definitely know one person who finds him attractive, me.

Phil is laying on my bed still completely passed out. I changed his clothes so that he is now in pajamas. We already told his parents that he would be sleeping at my house so at least there is one thing I don't have to worry about. I am just sitting there watching me sleep because I can't. He stirs every few minutes, but I know he will most likely not wake up till morning.

"Dan." He says almost an hour later.

"Yeah?" I ask getting up and sitting down next to him on the bed.

"Where am I?"

"You're at my house, in my bed." He doesn't respond he just pulls me into a tight hug. I don't know what to do I just hug him back. Phil probably won't remember this, but I know I won't forget it. He has already fallen back to sleep in my arms.


	5. Chapter 5

Senior Year

Phil's POV

Chapter 5

Senior year, basically the year that I have been dreading since my freshman year. The number one things that makes you popular as a senior is if you've gotten laid. I obviously have not. My best friend Dan Howell on the other hand is Mr. Ladies' Man. He has never truly told me if he's wrinkled the sheets, but I think that he has. He's cool I'm not (when did that happen?); I honestly don't know why we are friends.

Prom. A rite of passage for all seniors. I don't have a date. Everyone in school has paired up and I'm still looking for that lucky someone. I wouldn't say that I know a lot of people, but with a school of 700 students you'd think that someone would notice me. Oh, I think I know why though. For the past four years I have been debated who I am and who I want to spend my life with. What I mean by spending the rest of my life with is which gender. To like girls or to not like girls that is the question.

"Dan, you got a hot date for the prom next week?" I say raising my eyebrows

Dan puts his arm around me and says "oh the contrary my friend. I am dateless."

"What do you mean? You always get the ladies."

"Phil there comes a time when you've dated them all and they all suck. That's where I'm at."

"Do you remember when you used to be lame?"

"Every night when I close my eyes." He says with a slight giggle at the end.

"What are we supposed to do Dan miss our one and only prom? The thing I have been waiting for since freshman year?" I say with a very sarcastic tone

"We could always go together, as friends obviously." He says not sarcastically

"If you want to."

"I do."

Daniel James Howell, what is wrong with him? Does he not realize that the whole school already thinks I'm gay. Why did I say yes? Do I have a crush on Dan? No, I'm straight. Right, maybe? Is Dan straight? Of course Dan is straight. Why would I ever even ask that? I need to see a therapist.

It's only a few minutes after he had asked me and I can already feel people laughing and talking and pointing. Try to keep my head held high but it's already so low, it's hard to pick it back up. I only look at my shoes as I walk through the halls think of what it would be like if I didn't have Dan and deciding if that's worse or better than this. That is a question that I never want to have to think about. He only wants me to be happy and that's why he asked me, not because he wanted to humiliate me. He's the greatest friend anyone could ask for.

Maybe I should ask someone for help or maybe I should keep this bundled up inside. I am trying to change my ideas on the ideal couple. Make the ideas that have been imbedded into my mind, my ideas. Ever since we were little we are told to like the opposite gender, I don't think that's how the world should work.

In a few years I might want to have kids. If me and the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with decide that it's time, I won't pressure them into thinking that just because they are boys they should like girls or vice versa. Everyone should have the freedom to put their own thoughts into their own mind.

Prom is something that I need to do and I don't care if they call me gay or a faggot even I need to remember that going to prom with a boy doesn't mean that's we you'll end up with. If I decide that girls are the right pick for me I'll never forget when I went to prom with my best friend.

"This is going to be the best night of our life Dan." I say to Dan as he shoves his English book in his locker.

"Our life?" He says looking me in the eyes

"Yeah. What's wrong with that?"

As he shuts his locker he says almost too quiet for me to hear "Nothing, nothing at all."


	6. Chapter 6

Senior Year

Chapter 6

Dan's POV

Prom. I agreed to go with Phil, but he thinks we're going just as friends. I want more than this. I've got a plan, but I'm afraid that it will not work. I'll just have to wait and see I guess. Phil still thinks I'm as straight as can be even with all the hints I've been dropping lately. Maybe Phil actually is straight and I just have my hopes up to get them teared down.

Phil is coming to my house later so that we can get ready together. He really just wants me there so that I can tell him that his suit looks awful. Phil has the worst fashion sense of any male I have ever met. He actually wore black pants and a navy blue shirt, you just don't do that. He just needs advice sometimes. We all have things that we need advice on his just happens to be fashion. There is nothing wrong with that. I on the other hand never need advice because I'm fabulous (just kidding).

"Who's ready for a fashion show?" I say in my best girl voice as I open the door for Phil.

"This is not a fashion show; it's just getting ready to go something that is supposed to be one of the best nights of our lives!" He exclaims in a very sarcastic tone.

"Come on." I demand pushing him up the stairs whilst laughing.

"Are you actually serious?" Phil questions when he sees the display of ties that I have laid out on my bed.

"You've got to have options."

"No, you have to have help."

"Shut up." I cry and playfully push him.

He puts the clothes he has brought with him onto my bed. I am appalled at what he has brought. He brought a bright orange colored dress shirt. Who even owns something like that?

"Phil what the hell is this?" I say holding up the shirt.

"It's a shirt." He states shrugging his shoulders.

"No Phil, this is a pumpkin."

"Shut up and make me beautiful."

"I'm gonna need a lot longer than two hours to do that." I say humorously, but Phil punches my arm anyway.

As much as I find Phil annoying I also find him amazing. I only say the things I say because that's what we've always done. I want to stray from that though; I want to be able to tell him that he's beautiful. Even if he doesn't feel the same way about me. I want to live in a world where it's okay for the male gender to tell each other that they look handsome or beautiful. When was it a rule that men cannot complement each other? I want to go back in time and hurt who ever first said that. I wonder how different our world would be today.

"You know Dan, you keep insulting me why can't I insult you?"

"I'm perfect you can't insult me." I insist while doing a sassy hair flip.

"What about your room, Mr. Perfect?" He says while looking around my room.

"This is my domain. You don't judge someone's living space." I think I'm funny, I'm not. Phil always laughs at my jokes though, and I don't know if it's because he feels bad for me or he genially thinks I'm funny. I don't really mind ether way because he looks absolutely adorable when he laughs. He sticks his tongue out to one side and I think one of these times I might lose my shit.

"You know you're an idiot right?"

"You have to admit I'm pretty cute though." I say slightly nervous about what he might say in return. I've been trying to get him to realize my feelings with little hints like these, but he is just not catching on. Maybe he doesn't want to catch on.

"You're adorable, let's move on." He tell me, slightly sarcastic and slightly annoyed. Maybe I should just tell him instead of going through this endless torment of possibility.

"Phil I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?" He says facing me with curiosity

"Orange is definitely not your color or anyone's for that matter." He smiles, but I can tell that he is slightly disappointed on my comment. I don't know if he's disappointed because I said orange wasn't his color or that I didn't say something else. "Blue is definitely more for you. Try this on." I say handing him a blue button down.

"Thanks" He says and walks into my bathroom. He's always self-conscience about his body so always refuses to change in front of me. He even goes as far as wearing a shirt when swimming. He has nothing to be sacred about though. I'm his best friend. Does he think that I'll just leave because he doesn't have a six pack?

"Definitely better." I exclaim as he walks out. "Now put the rest of your suit on." I through the suit at him and he doesn't catch one piece of clothing.

"What about you?" He asks picking up his clothes.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." I say winking at him.


End file.
